A Warrior’s Hurt

Updated: Mar 6, 2020

One of the few video games I play with my kids and their friends is Super Smash Brothers.  I’m not very good and usually I die quickly, but I still get a few good hits or combo’s in and that makes me feel not so weak.  The part that bothers me is the health bar.  Mine seems to decline so much faster than everyone else!  I’m always fighting with super low health it seems.  I think many men are like my fighters in Super Smash, they are fighting with low health. Most men are fighters in their own way.  They will push through problems to try to find solutions.  Even when they get hurt, they will keep pressing on to victory.  These are admirable qualities in sports and war, but in everyday life these wounds will catch cause serious problems.  In fact, many men start living a life where their main focus is wound management.  However, many men do not realize their life revolves around their own wounds.  This wounding affects everything they do and every relationship they have.  These tips should help men as they fight the wars of everyday life.

Hurts Will Happen

  1. Getting hurt comes with being in the battle.  The battle of life hits all of us in one way or another.  To deny the hurt means denying the fact that life is a battle.  This doesn’t make sense.  Now sometimes we have to push through the pain, but we need to find a way to acknowledge the hurt and deal with it.  Too many men live with a denial of the pain of life and that will shut them off from close relationships.  This will breed loneliness which will add to the denial in a shark like frenzy.

Unresolved Hurts Grow

  1. The processing and resolving of pain will remove pain from us.  When pain stays, it will increase and move into other areas of our life.  This can showcase itself in a man who can be fine one minute and then explode the next because someone hit his pain point.  Many families and coworkers learn to walk carefully around men who have unresolved pain.  This can further isolate the man and cause him to blame others to keep the denial active.  Many men do not even know they are doing this because it was the model their father, if their father was around, modeled for them.

Hurts Become Infected

  1. Just like a shrapnel wound in war left untreated will cause infection and serious complications, our hurts, if left untreated, will cause emotional infections in our life.  Infections will keep men from being the everyday warriors they need to be in life.  Their emotional and mental energy will be consumed by their infection.  This will keep them from establishing consistency in their life and in their relationships.  Many men who live as “lone wolves,” live their lives managing their emotional infections.

Men should live as leaders and warriors in their everyday life.  Their families deserve to see them at their peak performance which involves men connecting emotionally and leading themselves holistically.  However, a man who has hurts cannot be the warrior his family or our society needs him to be.  When men don’t allow their hurts to heal, everyone else pays the price.

What hurts are keeping you from being a warrior?


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