Hey scott! Welcome to the confident Man podcast. Glad to have you here, man. Thanks for having me, David. It's an honor to be here with you. So thank you. Well, uh, for those of you listening, I met scott when I was at a retreat in Utah and we just bonded while we're hiking hills and climbing up um areas that we were kind of scared of. But we made it and uh, but it was, it was a fun time connecting with them. So scott, I just want to introduce you to listeners a little bit, tell me a little bit about your story and how you began to focus on mindset. Yeah, from a mindset standpoint, I think I'm a natural standpoint. I think we all go through, um, just that the whole journey of life is a process of mindset begin with anyway, based on what you go through the circumstances, what you're learning and growing in what you're, what you're trying to accomplish what you get in trouble with and how you win in life. And so there's a, I think a natural mechanical side to it, but but at some point, I think we get to this place of uh and not everybody does it, but I think we naturally get to this place to question uh a proactive side of, of mindset and really just trying to understand how we add up and what kind of person we are and uh you know, are we doing well? Are we achieving what we're trying to achieve? Are we accomplishing what we're trying to go toward? Are we taking care of our families? Are we providing for all those things that run through all our minds? And so so I think it really was pivotal for me Years ago in my 30's when I was a lot dumber, not that much uh smarter now than, but a little more wisdom, I guess you would say. And so in my early thirties, that was kind of a pivotal time where I was, you know, doing like a lot of people do part of him and and having fun chasing girls and and even even getting involved in dumb things like, you know, you run around with your, with your, maybe you call your posse or your gang or your group of friends or click, you know, and you do all that stuff and you end up getting in fights or whatnot even get involved in. I I even got involved in pornography and different stuff like that. Ultimately the real deal behind it was that I was just paying for uh experiences that I thought were abundant. Mm And the real reality is is as a kid I grew up and all the opportunity out there of all the, I want to fall shiny objects or abundant things or opportunities that you can be a part of that gives you excitement. That gives you what you think at some level of joy. Um Really just pulls you into that. And so so you, you buy into that what you see and what's modeled to you. And uh I realized at that point that I was going down the same roads ending up at the same place as with the same people. Not that there were bad people, but those same people, including me, we're doing the same things and ending up with the same results going nowhere fans. Mhm caused me to finally question like, what am I missing album? Yeah. My ah getting to know, what am I not experiencing mm and what am I leaving on the table by only going that round and with only those people that are only really doing the same really dumb things. It wasn't possible suffering and causing abundance in my life. Um, so that was pivotal for me to step back and look at that and there's a saying that and and this just kind of came in at the same time frame, the same, that's lean, not so strong on what you think, you know, mm I enter in your rest and I began to use that. I began to uh walking that, but I, but I wonder what am I resting? And I, shortly after processing do that. They're after I came to the point of I'm the greatest enemy to myself. I'm the one creating the goodness in my life as well as all the bad, bad things as well as all the stuff that wasn't helping me go forward. In other words, I was blocking myself from releasing the richness inside me and I was settling for or something less a perceived abundance that I thought that the world should be not for the world's bad, but you see the world through your eyes and you go toward those things instead of releasing out of you what you know is in you. And so that became my navigational aid to learn how to lean, not so strong on my own mindset. And that has a navigational aid to rest from what I thought. I know because after all you've heard that terminology for most of what you think, you know, ain't stuff. Yeah, that's true. So I started using that and that was pivotal to to help me start trans, you know, making that transition into recognizing what I was doing and why I was doing what I was doing and what what kind of abundance it was it was or was not bringing in my life? Okay, so was this kind of a more of an awakening, like a step by step awakening? Or was there like a pivotal moment or was it just kind of you starting to really think through your purpose and why, why you did what you did? Yeah, I think it was digital. A lot of things happen, a lot of lost a lot of things that didn't go my way that I thought they should play out a certain way. Yeah, lot of hang ups, a lot of uncertainty, a lot of disappointment, those sort of things that we all go through. And it just seemed for me to compound at that point. So I began to question that and then decided this is not the way I want to live my life, this is not what I want to experience, at least in the onset I thought that's what it was. And so so you just keep going towards all those things. And a lot of people keep doing that throughout their entire lives began to see that there was more to life than what I was experiencing. And so I began to start making little baby steps toward it, and the more I did it, the more it started opening up in a different way. And all of sudden I had a whole, I still had those friends, but I was surrounding myself with a whole set of different friends, Even a couple older older gentleman who are still my, my really a couple of my best friends who are both 75 right now, those would be like a couple of mentors at the same time, there father figures and friends. Mhm. For a lot of our guys out there, when you say an abundant mindset, what are you kind of thinking about? What's going through your mind as you're saying it? Well, the first thing that comes to my mind is I my wife and I, but especially me for the last two decades, I've taken a posture that life Life was created out of the abundance and four abundance. Okay. The rest on that a little bit like a person can think that's religious or churchy or spiritual or whatever, but it's really not. It's the mechanical side of life. And if you just go sit on a, you know, a bench or in a coffee shop or in a mall or wherever in office and watch people, we're all going toward abundance. All going toward the benefit. Even the animals are going toward the benefits they're just constrained by by their instinctive mode, at that level of what they're trying to acquire. Whether it's warm or whether it's mating whether it's food, whether it's excitement, wagging their tail for a dog. You know even the animals are going toward that. And so so we're all going toward abundance. It's a fruitfulness that were falling. So so I I look at it from that perspective that there's really inside of that abundance which looks like one direction. There's really two paths. one is the fruitfulness of abundance which is really spirit. Yeah and fruitfulness of the parliament. Yeah. Which which is really just the fruitfulness you see with your eyes it's an outward projection. Mhm. And and it's an outward achieving and going after it what you see as an opportunity. So we're we're constantly inundated with with abundance. We're constantly innovating with opportunities with benefits, with fruitfulness in one way or another. And so when I when you look at that, when you look at the design in the I'm gonna call it the animal kingdom and all the creatures that are created, we just happen to be the top dog were one of the animals. We have to be the top dog. And what makes us the top dog is were given. And retrofitted conscious awareness to you, learn how to know the difference between right and wrong, between scarcity and abundance between uh well I've got the confidence and confidence between uh smile and frown. So we go through that journey of growing up in that early on were all retrofitted with that same animal nature. Mhm. That animal nature to first survive. It's really really what we call the four essences, its safety, security survival, all which is self preservation. So so were retrofitted with that. And when we understand that part of our nature comes from that like the carnal side of this is the among oceans and and the five senses that helps us to interpret the world we live in. We stand, you know, so so it's easy to get hot and stuck in that and it's also counter counter intuitive because you you're so used to looking seeing and then believing when it goes back to that Arnold that I was describing, the carnal side creates the scarcity it looks and sees from that perspective. Yeah, the abundance side of you. The spirit side, the spirit man in you. I'm not talking religion, that spirit man and you that drives your whole being Yeah. In part released or not released because of the brain, what the brain focused on. So when you focus with your eyes you have a tendency does look at the circumstances, just like the animals do okay and respond according to the circumstances. And so wrapping that around to your question that how does that affect him if he stays entrenched in that mentality? Which I've I'm guilty of it all my whole life, you know? And and the wonderful thing is we're free to do as Children to survive long enough so that we can come out of that animal thinking or nature. And most of us don't think that we don't compare ourselves to an empty but we have the same modus operandi, the same safety spirits, volume, territorial, domineering fighter flight, eye for an eye, tooth for tooth returning evil for evil because you deserved it because you shouldn't have done that to me all those things that preserves and lists ourselves up in that picking water. And so so that drives that mentality powerfully. And I think a constriction into a fraction of your potential. Okay, that makes sense. Just like that, just like the animal is contained. He can lay in your yard, but he has no clue of all the opportunity and and all the wonderfulness in life that life has to offer. He's only thinking about you and his dog bone and barking at the other people or the dogs. So we have a tendency that same thing. And so our own scarcity mentality comes from that self preservation mode. It's our modus operandi that were driven by all through our younger years. But it's designed so we survive so that when our conscience to learn is develops, we come out of that nature so that we start operating in the abundance mentality. Okay, so it's like a man, yeah, a man finding his purpose. Like he's been living and existing, but but he's gonna wake up to, oh, there's a whole lot more to my life than what am I eating? How much money am I making am I having sex? Things like that. Which that is what so many men focus on. You're saying that that's just to get them so you don't die. But then to focus on, okay, what is the whole purpose and meaning of my life and things like that? That's correct really by design to help you unleash what was put in you, the richness that is created, which is really your purpose. It's ultimately find that treasure chest and that treasure chest is infinite amount of Treasury infant amount of potential. And your purpose isn't specifically necessarily one exact thing you're gonna do, You're gonna do many different, but when you unleash and begin unpacking and unleashing and releasing that treasure chest or that richness put in you that everyone knows is in them. I know it's there. They know there's more to life than what they're experiencing. We just with our eyes except all the stuff that we see modeled to us by every other guy or every other family or every other business or every other church or every other, you know, influencer in life. So we allow that to plant seeds in our mind and create these limitations because we're so busy looking outward to try to achieve and obtain in a choir instead of resting from all that we think we figured out. Yeah. And then to begin to unpack, begin to rest in that unpack just put in you which you know, is there You just don't know how, you just don't know how to put your finger on, you know, medical equipment, no scientific equipment can find. But you know, it's there. Yeah, it's like but when you do that, when you begin releasing that, the money follows, okay, Accolades followed the achievements followed the the attitude follows the, you know, and everything drives that. Yeah. So it like a man is awakened to his ability, his purpose and that kind of wakes him up to all the other stuff. So instead of living for money, living for Accolades, he's living for something else. And those things just come along. Is that what you're saying? Like that? That's right. It's really where work also becomes not work. So most of the time we're working to provide for ourselves, we're working to fulfill our needs were working because it works. We're working because we have to and then we invest in it and we find the ladder to wherever that lands us a comfort zone that we're okay with. But we really accept that several before I want to say yeah. And and I've done it a lot of my life before I came to this place of figuring what's important to me out. This is really the pathway of the wonderfulness, the beauty, the grand jury, the loveliness, the awesomeness of all of life. But we can't see it. So we don't go after it. And so so we're constantly trying to go find purpose and potential and passion and trying to go out and get those things and bring them in when the real reality is, is we need to release what's already in us. It's our it's our geniuses are gifting, it's our talent, uh, and then all the accomplishments and all that will just fall in place. The money will just fall into place. The relationships will fall in place, and actually your health, your health and welfare, relationships as a whole will get better because you come alive and the like, believe what you love and your your work will become not work. It will be someone will have to pry you out of your work because you just love doing that thing that was created in you the richness of who you are. And so oftentimes we're trading money, going back to your money. Questions were trading money for our time. Yeah. And the the amount of money we have or or the more we have, whether that's 10,000 or 100,000 or 50 or 500,000, we equate that money to our values. Mhm. It's really a lie because your value is not contained by that money. You just traded your money your time, sorry. You just trade your time for that money, but you can't help but looking at it with your eyes and measuring that and identifying that with your brain, That's who I am. That's my value. Yeah. And then you settle for that and you push aside the richness of this extensive graphic, infinite value that is created in you where you're unique, special, needed, important. You have purpose. Yeah. You know, and and so we sabotaged that. Yeah. Do you think a lot of guys today, the reason they're trying to escape through, you know, binge watching gaming, sports porn, whatever. Do you think a lot of that escape is because they're kind of missing that side of their life if they're just focused on the scarcity things? Yeah. I think I think everything is is when you when we come back to that purpose or that richness, I like to call it the richness. It's acting you when you come back to that and early on in your life you have to do other things to fund getting out of you. What's in you so you can launch, grow and scale that or so that you can start a business or find a job that will pay you your value. Yeah. Often times, most of the time we're not taught that we're not taught in our schools a lot of times, not in their families, it wasn't modeled to me, my family, not they're great, but they weren't modeling abundance. They were modeling more of a health perspective and and they probably were modeled to them the same way. So so the generational inheritance kept playing out. Yeah. And and so I was I was returning to break the change. I don't know why I just this is just something my father was a couple of decades ago and and that based on the circumstances. And so but that chain was escaping, but like you're saying, escaping from you're your true identity, who you actually are, what's actually in there and the escapism really is is pretty mechanical. It sounds like a negative word. Like I never purposely did that. Like I never purposely set out to to do bad things or harmful things. But what that animal nature drove it because I had no other teaching, none of us hardly do. I had modeling that was acting animalistic. And so so I escaped. What was I really escaping? I escaped that richness that was really in me try to to try to uh make myself feel good about who I was about what I was doing and why I was doing and and what identity. You know, when you identify, you're gonna you're going to identify with something, You're gonna submit, surrender, yield. You're gonna be submissive to something. Men and women that we're we're talking to men. So we're going to be faithful to something as well. And when we do that, we identify with those things whatever those are. And I call those ornaments that we put on our christmas tree. We put on our bare tree to try to cover ourselves and make ourselves feel like we're somebody went all along. The richness is built in us and it's designed for us. All those things were taken to his work and its resistance. It's all constrictions is designed to get us to navigate back into the thing that were created. This were created to be were designed to release that risk. So so we get caught in that escape. I escaped for a long time because it's easier to pass mm is easier to see and go toward to the gas. What's the gasoline? Gasoline is an exciter. You throw gas on the fire. It excites it, you know, and that's what we're doing with drugs and alcohol. I didn't do that a long time since. But, But whether it's binge watching Netflix or whether it's shopping and having 200 pairs of shoes or whether, you know, an alcohol problem or whether it's uh, you know. whatever you put all your energy and allow that to continue, that's outside of what, what that richness in richness was deposited in you is becomes a problem. You're trying to use that to fill. This spot is only this can fill and and this is the only thing that one and once it's unleashed is infinitely expansive continues to open up. Yeah. So as it is like a journey, the more you go into it, the more you realize there's a whole lot more back there. It's not just you cross one little finish line, you're actually going on a journey that's opening you up to a world you never knew. Mm If there's some guys out there listening who say, hey I may be kind of maybe kind of in that mindset where I'm kind of animalistic, I'm thinking about just me, what I want, what are some practical things a guy can do starting today to kind of begin to change that mindset to maybe a more abundant, more positive mindset than what he's been in. What do you think are some practical things a man could do today? The first one is what we started with, is that lean not so strongly? I mean that's been a game changer for me, lean not so strong. What I think I know the difficulty is, is men have a tendency to be logically common sense, logical and that's, that's a strength. That's a great strength. But we're emotional beings and we get caught emotionally there. Mm That's a good .95% of us is an emotional being. It just happens to be the mail is has the logical strength and the female has the nurturing emotional strength to buying together great, complete that will yeah that makes our go in a place where it would never go on its own. But going back to that is maybe not so strongly on that and it's counterintuitive because your mind is so wired logically that a plus people C two plus two is four if this then that and then uh All right you can't help express that. But that logic is not always the the answer. And so if I can lean not so strongly then I can begin to rest from myself. And now I become open and workable or council to come in my life. I don't need a counselor, but I do need it to to understand what I don't don't know, don't understand. There's that we only know a teeny bit in life and so we think we know everything when we've been around the block for a while. And so number one is not so strongly on what you think, you know, but enter into rest and rest from who you are. So understand, understanding that you're the top dog in the animal kingdom. I think that's an important thing to recognize that we just happened to be the top dog with conscious awareness, genuine choice and it was created out of abundance for us to experience the wonderfulness of life. Okay, I like that. Now, beginning to work with that is the difficult part learning to to embrace that and work with it. The top dog plays out, you can just look out in the world, There's M A M. M. A. Fighting, there's the best guy in basketball, there's the all the football and golf and, you know, and I'm not picking on sports, I like sports, but but you can see how man train is trying to be tough, be strong beat, you know? And I did that for a long time, you know? And so, so being the top dog doesn't mean that the you're the top dog in the pecking order. It just means top dog means I'm equipped with these abilities that no other animal can do. Yeah, no other animals can come out of itself. But you, mm so, as I, as I begin to transition to that, I began to get into this strength of mine is my character and my church, or begins with being able to not lean on so strong what I think I know, but I begin to open myself up to become workable so that life can teach please experiences. Yeah. If you never heard the terminology when the student is ready, the teacher will show up. That's true. Really. That will lead you through the common sense of logic, of life, of how the kingdom or how the world works. So that's number two mm and number three is I think really important too, begin to unpack and release the richness that's in you. Okay, okay. It begins by articulating mm What's in there and what will happen? What will happen first is it will first become attractive to you? Yeah, it's your great idea. You know? It's your it's but it's also an alignment with what makes you come alive. What gets you excited? What gets you? What causes a skip in your step? Yeah. What gets you exhilarated? You can't you can't just live your life by the exhilaration of drinking because that can be a Hillary, you know, so unpacking that beginning to release that richness where you begin to trade that value, that real true value for whether it's helping somebody, whether it's whether it's modeling to your, excuse me, to your family, whether it's trading it for money and your business or in your profession, your job. Yeah, Whatever it is, it's releasing that so you can let it pull you into that awesomeness of life. Okay. Yeah, I like that because I think a lot of men do, they're the best at beating themselves up, You know? Oh, I can't do that. I'm not a guy, whoever wins everything bad ever happens to me. I messed up when I was 22 and now I'm paying it now and and I think we kind of get in that negative mindset. Have you seen that in guys before? Yeah, it's really just a scarce mind. So we've we've been, when you talk about I can't it's the kind of the three things I can't I won't I don't know how to do it. Mm So we get a narrative in our minds. I can't do that, you know, based on our comfort zones or belief systems or things we've identified with. I can't do this, but I can do these things over here and really confidence come back in when you when you are able to work with something. If you've not done something before and never worked with it, you don't really have any confidence. But when you start with it and start playing with it and taking her apart and putting it back together, confidence starts building up and pretty soon you're realizing that was no big deal. Yeah, that's true. But our comfort zone stop us from doing that. And so that's the same thing with our richness. When we begin to unpack that and begin to put words on it, articulated and starts taking physical form. Our confidence comes with it, our courage comes with energy with our live, this comes with it. Our excitement and joy, for it comes with it. Yeah, for us in. So so yeah, that scarcity mindset says I can't I won't I don't, but in abundant mindset because I can do this all, figure it out. I will and then doing it. I'm working it out somewhere and I'll figure it out. So yeah, and that's true because a lot of the guys I've been around who our men who've had success have purpose or getting things done, they have that mentality. They're not worried about what they don't know. They figured I can learn, you know, they've gotten that attitude of, well I can figure it out if I don't know it now, I can learn, I can get someone to teach me things like that. It's really just like resourcefulness, being able to, like you said, figure it out. Yeah. And it happened deciding. Mhm. That's true, that's true. That's good. I love that. I love those those things. I think that will help our guys out there today. So so scott if people want to find out more about you and what all you do, where do they go? They can follow us or join us live simply abundant dot com for prosperity. Well, I appreciate you being on and speaking to our men today and helping them grow. And it's been a great conversation. Well man, I appreciate it and I've been one of them men and I'm still working out the journey myself. It's a journeys lifelong, but but it can go faster by hanging around a guy like you. So oftentimes we like kind of muddle around, we kind of meander and aren't really pointed in the direction. So we, when we talk about that richness in life that helps point us in the right direction. So it just pulls us, but without that, not that we go toward everything we see. And so a guy like you is great hanging around you and meeting you at Movara. That was awesome because there was a kindred harness that there really was like minded minutes going down the same direction on the same path. And so we're all on that journey doing it together. So yeah, I appreciate you. Well, thank you scott. We'll talk to you later. Thanks everybody.
Find out more about Scott and His wife Julie and their awesome work at Live Simply Abundant