Check Please



Every meal at every restaurant has one thing in common, the check.  Toward the end of the meal someone has to pay the check.  When I was starting my first job, eating out was rare and when someone older took me out and paid the check it was a beautiful thing.  One time a friend of mine and his dad took me to a nice restaurant.  The prices were more than I was used to paying so I planned to order something not so expensive.  My friend's dad did one of the most incredible things.  He looked at me and said, “David, my son and I are going to order a nice steak, won’t you join us and get a steak too?”  Of course, I was incredibly happy and ordered a steak!  He gave me the freedom because he was willing to pay the check.

This story fits us as men because as we get older we realize that someone has to pave the way for the younger generation.  We received the benefit of an older generation who paved the way for us and now we have to pave the way for the younger generation.  The problem is many of us had no one pave the way for us.  We have had to go it alone or we are burdened with pain and burdens that we should not have to bear.  This reality lives with many men and it is unfortunate but they must choose what happens next by making some key decisions and observations.


Paying the Check isn’t Fair

  • Many men today grew up in bad circumstances.  They suffered abuse or lived in unhealthy environments.  Often these men carry the pain in their life and have never found a way to deal with it.  Unfortunately, many of these men end up acting the same way and creating the same unhealthy environments.  This isn’t fair but it is the reality. Either men from these pasts deny it and act like it didn’t happen or they repeat it to a new generation because they don’t want to change.

  • Changing these unhealthy realities is incredibly hard and takes commitment and dedication.  Too many men don’t want to pay the price so they end up just passing on the same unhealthiness to the next generation.  Others don’t know how to change so they never do anything about it.  This is unfortunate for them and those they are in relationship with.  Many men need to step up and decide that whether it is fair or not, they are going to pay the check.


Paying the Check is a Decision

  • Unfair or not we must make the decision to pay the check so the next generation doesn’t have to.  If we as men have grown up in unhealthy or abusive environments, we must pay the price of learning how to be healthy so we can pass on that healthiness to our children.  This doesn’t mean perfection, but it does mean changing the practice.

  • The reason this is hard comes with the fact that we may have to get help.  We may have to pay for counseling or humble ourselves to others who can help us.  This is a heavy price and it isn’t fair but imagine if we are the ones who stop the cycle of abuse or neglect in our family?  Imagine the next generation growing up in a healthy environment where they can thrive?  


We are forever in debt to our veterans who fought for our country in war.  They were willing to pay the price for our freedom.  That is what you do when you choose to change unhealthy habits passed down from others.  When you pay the price to end the negative cycle, you are fighting for the next generation's freedom!

What negative or unhealthy cycle needs to end with you?

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