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When I was younger my brother and I argued and fought a lot! My parents would try to do things so we would not argue like get us the exact same gift. I remember intentionally putting a scratch on a mug they got us so he would not be able to use “mine.” Often times we would challenge each other with the classic line all children who have argued use: “PROVE IT!” Dropping the prove it line always took the argument to another level.
Too many men today live their entire lives trying to “Prove It.” They live seeking approval or acknowledgment that their life has meaning and worth. I remember many days of my early journey as a man were spent trying to prove to other people how important I was, how smart I was, etc…. The problem with living to “prove it” is we are never able to really live with purpose. Seeking to “prove it” gives control of our lives to others. When you live on purpose, you have a higher view than proving yourself to others; because you know who you are and what purpose you are fulfilling with your life. How do we recognize if we are living on purpose or living to “prove it?” Here are two areas that can reveal our motivation.
Why are you seeking achievements? Are you walking out your purpose or seeking affirmation through your achievements. If you are doing things just to show people you are good your main purpose is approval. Oftentimes you can find yourself involved in things you don’t necessarily enjoy but since you have always gotten affirmation from them you continue.
Affirmation is nice but when that is all you live for, other people will always own and control you. Connecting your achievements to affirmation puts you on the roller coaster of emotions because you give up control. Many men feel like their life is out of control and they just have to hang on because they have given control to others and deep down they know it.
Many men begin relationships with women to prove themselves. They are trying to prove how good they are to themselves or to other men. They pick a woman based on how she looks and how other men perceive her. This is unfair to the woman and to the man himself. Men will not be able to grow in a relationship when it is based on the notion of “proving” themselves to others.
Intimacy cannot grow in a relationship based on selfish motivation at the beginning. Intimacy is what all men crave and putting themselves in a relationship that is based on proving something to others takes away the deep soil necessary to grow intimacy in a relationship. Approval grows from within and only intimacy can cultivate it.
Living your life to “prove it” to others will end in disappointment and regret. Men should begin the journey toward discovering their own purpose. When men live in purpose, they change their world.
What areas in life do you still struggle to “prove it” to others?