Six Month Reflections: What I Don’t Regret

[et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”3.22.3″][et_pb_row _builder_version=”3.22.3″ background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”3.0.47″][et_pb_text _builder_version=”3.22.4″ background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat” text_font=”Arial||||||||” text_font_size=”18px” text_letter_spacing=”1px”]

I find myself sitting in her spot on the bed a lot.  She would usually sit here the last few years to watch tv, take her meds, etc…  This was her spot and it has become my spot to sit and write, study, and journal.  I feel closer to her when I sit here.  Today marks 6 months since her promotion to heaven and I’m so glad to be in her spot.  The pain of missing her is tremendously strong and the thought of life without her is still extremely tough to comprehend.  However, last night as I was getting ready for this weird anniversary, I thought of some different things that I look back on and cherish.  These are the things that often come to my mind as precious memories.  What I find fascinating is the randomness of things that hit.  These are the things that mean a lot to me, these are the things I don’t regret about the 28 year journey that Angie and I had together.  I’m hoping they will help you in the ever day to understand what is most important about life.

I Don’t Regret:

Hugs and Holding

  1. I miss hugging her and just holding her as much as anything.  She fit and just holding her hand while we sat together or putting my hand on her leg are some of the things I think of the most.  In our sex obsessed culture, too many people forget the power of touch.  Your marriage should have lots of loving touch.  You will not regret it.

Date Nights

  1. Some of our date nights were extremely lame, some were really great.  I would take any lame date night right now over the most romantic and perfect.  Just being together is the power of a date night and everything does not have to go perfectly when you are focused on being together. Date nights are worth the effort!

Doing Nothing Together

  1. There is a certain comfort and peace of just sitting around the house and watching a movie together, talking while cooking, or even doing chores together.   Just doing nothing, but doing it together.  Those moments of togetherness really do define the relationship in so many ways. Being Silly Together Everything is not super serious and our times of laughing together over the silliest things are one of my greatest losses.  We had inside jokes that no one else would get.  We could look at each other and laugh because we would be laughing at the same thing.  Your life should have some silliness together.


  1. The power of vacations were just being together.  Some years we did the most basic vacations  because we had very little money and some years we were able to save up and do a big vacation.  The type of vacation didn’t matter.  What mattered was making memories together.  I don’t regret one penny we spent on a vacations and being together.  Those pictures mean more now to me than ever.

Dinner Around the Table

  1. Something as simple as sitting around the table and eating dinner together.  It was a ritual in our house and I miss it so much.  The evening connection was something you don’t really understand until you don’t have it anymore.  The laughter and the conversations around the dinner table are a strong glue for the entire family.

Helping Her

  1. It was an honor to serve her the last few years.  Some days were extremely hard and I wondered if I had the strength to do everything.  However, I would give everything to serve her one more time.  I don’t regret the times I left work to help her, or the many things I couldn’t do so I could stay home and take care of her.  My service to her is a badge of honor I proudly wear and it brings an immense amount of comfort during this grief journey.

Life with people you love is worth the hard work and the investment.  You will not regret the time and the energy you put into the relationships that mean the most to you.

These are the many thoughts that run through my mind as I walk through this new journey.  Many people ask how I am doing.  The answer is I’m adjusting to the new normal.  I don’t really like it, but I’m going to keep walking through it.  Angie would not want me to stay home and just be depressed.  If I did that, she would come and beat me with her fists of fury.(Sorry, inside joke, you wouldn’t get it)


0 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All