The Feelings Toolbox

Updated: Mar 4, 2020

I am not the handiest guy in the world, but sometimes I can get some projects done.  However, there does seem to be a common denominator to all men when they try to be handy.  The one tool we need is either lost or we have to go buy it.  Why is that?  I try to keep my tools organized but invariably the one I need is missing or the project takes a different tool from what I have.  I’m sure their is some conspiracy behind it that Home Depot and Lowe’s encourage


I want to use the analogy of the tool box for our feelings as men.  Men have strong feelings.  Too many people have given men an excuse to say they are not emotional, however not being emotional does not mean that we do not feel.  Men have strong passions and therefore strong feelings.  As men, we must learn how to properly understand our feelings if we are going to have deep meaningful relationships.

Hello Feeling 

  1. Men must learn to understand and process their own feelings.  Men have strong feelings and should be encouraged to know them.  Men should build into their life a way to interact with their feelings.  This could be through strong friendships.  Men who have a group of strong committed friends will often have a better sense of their own feelings.  Friends can help us understand ourselves and friends can call out when we are living in denial.  Men need this and it helps them understand themselves.



Feeling Tools

  1. We should see our feelings as a tool box of our emotions and understand how different tools can be used Too often we try to do everything with only one tool.  Tools such as journaling and being in a small group with other men can be immensely helpful tools.  Some TV shows, movies and music can also help us learn how to process and feel emotions.  I recently met a young man who says that watching Anime helps him learn emotions.  The key for us to remember is building a tool box of different things that help us process and feel. 

Better Feelings = Better Relationships

  1. When we as men understand our feelings, we can express them better.  This doesn’t mean we have to cry, but it means we can explain how we are feeling in any situation.  This emotional knowledge of ourselves will help us to be able to build strong intimate relationships.  Everyone wants strong intimate relationships.  The men who say they don’t are men who haven’t learn how to understand their own feelings.


Journaling has really helped me with my feelings.  If you have never journaled here is a great journal to get started with: Full Focus Journal.


What things have helped you learn your own emotions?




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