The "Laid-Back" Lie of Men


I was a laid-back kid growing up.  I pretty much went with the flow of what was going on around me and didn’t try to make waves.  Part of this is my personality, but as I look back I see that much of it was based on fear.  I was so afraid of what people thought of me that I rarely took a stand or gave an opinion.  I missed out on so much because I assumed a shell of “laid-back” to hide my own fear. 


I think many men walk in that same way today.  Instead of growing and learning, they assume a “laid-back” attitude to avoid uncomfortable parts of their life.  Many men are laid-back by nature, but many men use the “laid back” attitude to hide behind.  The problem lies within the fact that as men, they are living below what they are capable of and it will influence their families in negative ways.  Men must ask themselves honestly if their "laid back" attitude is an excuse or based in fear.

Laid-Back Excuse

  • Being laid-back can be an excuse for not caring.  The attitude of not caring does not have be extreme like a man who doesn’t really care about his family, but it can be a subtle way of not really trying emotionally.  Men who have not really matured in their emotions can use the fact that they are laid-back to not engage in relationships.  This gives them a feeling of emotional safety, but hurts their overall ability to have close relationships.

  • Some men have been hurt emotionally so they vow to never let that happen again.  This causes them to effectively turn off their emotions and hide behind a "laid-back" attitude.  This always hurts those around them.  If they have children, their children will miss the opportunities to have a strong emotional relationship with their father.  This will hurt their emotional development and the cycle may continue for generations.  

Laid-Back Fear

  • For some men, being "laid-back" is a smokescreen they use to hide fear.  They struggle with the fear of the unknown or the fear of the future so they try to approach life with a “I really don’t care” attitude that can be called laid-back.  However, this never deals with the fear in their head.  They just box it up and put it in the back, but it is still there and can still cause them to live less than they are capable of living.

  • Other men can use the “laid back” attitude to hide their fear of making a wrong decision.  They don’t want the consequences of making a wrong decision so they just avoid decisions all together.  This can frustrate their friends, family and coworkers, but men choose to live with those issues to avoid the fear they feel in making concrete decisions.  This manifests itself in many men who just passively exist each day.  They do what they have to do to survive, but don’t do much more than that.  Their fear of failure is so strong, they are willing to avoid many positive aspects of life and just apathetically get by.

This is the time where you have to look in the mirror as a man.  There is nothing wrong with having a more laid-back attitude; however, if you are using it as an excuse or as a way to hide your fears, you will hurt yourself and those you care for.  I challenge you to get honest with yourself and find the truth behind your laid-back attitude.

You don’t have to live less of a life as a man!  Live YOUR ADVENTURE!


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