Last night I didn’t get to sleep because my boss wouldn’t let me. That may sound strange coming from a solo entrepreneur but it was the reality. Now I didn’t tell myself I couldn’t go to sleep, (yes, I do talk to myself often, don’t judge, you do too!) I just gave YouTube the right to boss me and keep me up. I started watching one video and ended up watching another, and another, etc…. You know the drill. The next thing I knew it was almost an hour later! I didn’t go to sleep when I wanted to because I let YouTube be my boss.
Who controls us as men? We have to face the reality that too often we give up control of ourselves. When we allow something else to control us, we are making that thing our boss. As men, we are called to lead and leadership starts with ourselves. We must decide who the boss is and what the boss does.
The Boss is
We are the boss of ourselves at all times. There are other people who influence us and may pressure us, but in the end we choose what we do and what we don’t do. That is a crucial recognition as men. If we don’t take responsibility for being the boss of ourselves, we will forever be filled with excuses. Too many men live a life full of excuse because they refuse to boss themselves.
Self-Discipline starts with self. We have to recognize that as men. Too many men want other people to change them. I’ve heard guys say they are dating someone because they want her to make them better! That is crazy!! We have to choose to be better and if we expect someone else to do it for us without our consent, we are doomed to failure. Too many marriages have ended because the husband wanted more of a mom and less of a wife. Our wives should not be our mom! For one thing, it’s just creepy. Plus, it doesn’t make for a healthy relationship. We have to be the boss of us.
The Boss does
When we become the boss of ourselves, we start focusing on what works for us. We learn about ourselves and the things that work and things that don't. This is a reality for everyone. We may need people to hold us accountable or to coach us, but that is very different from someone nagging us. When we ask someone to hold us accountable or coach us, we are actually giving them permission to ask us tough questions and we are submitting ourselves to them. The men that I coach have given me permission to ask tough questions and get into their business. They want to grow and have seen coaching as a way to help them.
There are no real quick remedies for change. There isn’t a pill that will magically make fat fall off your body, no matter what the commercial says. Change takes work. As men, we must face that realization and do something about it. Too many men are controlled by their cravings and appetites instead of being the boss of themselves. If we can’t stop eating the ice cream, then we have given the ice cream the right to be our boss. If we can’t stop looking at porn, then we are giving porn the right to be our boss. Men must choose to be their own boss and do the work.
As men, we must become our own boss and that starts with taking responsibility and changing what we do. There are no shortcuts and there are no easy ways. However, if we choose to be the boss, we will find the greatest freedom we have ever known.
What areas do you think boss us around as men today?